Mary Longhurst, of Station Road in Great Billing, was paralysed by a massive brain haemorrhage in April 2005.
Months later, she was assessed for a Disabled Facilities Grant (DFG) from Northampton Borough Council, which would fund adaptations to her house and enable her to remain there with her husband, Charles.
Tragically, Mrs Longhurst died in a nursing home in April 2007, while still waiting for a full DFG application form.
Even worse, Mr Long-hurst, a Korean War veteran, finally received the all important form this week - 10 months after his wife's death.
Mr Longhurst, 81, said he had been led to believe a decision on money for the home improvements was imminent.
He said: "Until I saw this form, I had no idea it existed. I thought we were in line to get the money already.
"When it was explained to me that we could not have got the money without it, I was totally gutted.
"It's terrible that they are so out of touch they have sent the letter believing she is alive.
"But if I'd known about this form, I could have got a decision and perhaps had Mary at home for those two years.
"More than that, I was told by doctors she would probably have got better through being at home, so she might even have been here with me today."
Last week, a charity for disabled people, Ability Northants, said about 200 people like Mrs Longhurst had been "left to rot" while waiting for a full DFG form; some for nearly three years.
The local authority said it had now taken measures to address the problem, including sending all 200 people the application form and making it available online and at its one stop shop.
Council cabinet member Councillor Trini Crake (Lib Dem, Boughton Green) admitted the council had got the DFG grant wrong and issued an apology to Mr Longhurst.
She said: "On behalf of the council, I apologise for the distress that receiving this letter must have caused Mr Longhurst.
"I will write to Mr Longhurst to make clear how sorry we are.
"I am aware that things have gone wrong in the way that the council has administered these grants in the past and that forms should have been made more freely available."
She added: "I have given instructions that this must be put right.
"We'll now make every effort to ensure that applications for these grants are processed swiftly."
nick.spoors@northantsnews.co.uk