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Michelle Morgan - Waiting in line can be such a pain
I, like most people, hate standing in queues, and in my opinion there’s nothing much scarier than the Post Office queue and the people standing in it.
First of all there’s Mr No Bath. He hasn’t washed since 1962, refuses to wear deodorant and the idea of a washing machine is completely alien to him. However, what makes him particularly scary is that he also has no idea of personal boundaries. Out of everyone in the queue, he’ll be the one standing as close to you as possible – while you’ll be the one desperately trying not to pass out from the fumes.
Then we have the Queue Jumper. I’ll always remember the day when I was minding my own business; when out of nowhere, I became aware that there was a man underneath my coat.
No, he wasn’t an extreme space invader; he was someone who thought he’d crawl under the ropes to get to the front of the queue.
He misjudged of course, and ended up with his head up the side of my long winter coat. A quick whack with my handbag put paid to his nonsense, and he was swiftly dispatched to the back of the queue.
Then there is Mrs Proud Grandmother.
This normally sweet old lady becomes an absolute menace in a post office. Why? Because not only does she have a million and one things she wants to take care of at the counter, but she also wants to share news and photographs of her grandchildren with the cashier.
Case in point – a few days ago my dad and I were standing in line, waiting to post a parcel. Mrs Proud Grandmother was ahead of us, setting up post office accounts for her grandchildren; taking out premium bonds and giving the cashier a full run-down on the amount of grandkids she had; what there names were; and what cute things they had said that day.
To make matters worse she had two little rugrats with her, and every now and then they’d go bolting off round the shop, with her chasing after them. The whole process took 30 minutes, by which time my dad and I were grey-haired with frustration. The crowning glory came when at the very end of her transaction she left the counter, only to turn back and ask, ‘Oh, can I also have a first class stamp?’
I’m afraid I can’t repeat what the other queue members had to say to that question, but I think you have a pretty good idea…
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Sunday 27 May 2012
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Comments
There are 15 comments to this article
Page 1 of 1
NAdams
Friday, February 10, 2012 at 11:59 PMHow ironic is it that certain people continue to slate this columnist while feeling that their own views are worthy enough to be attached to nearly every news item that is published by the ET. You should bear in mind that you have to click on Michelle's link to read her "drivel", whilst your own is imposed daily without the choice of avoiding it. Get over yourself.
Gene Simmons
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 09:45 PMDyslexia is no excuse for not using a spell check before you submit *your* "drivel".
onetotheeast
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 08:30 AMThanks Gene Simmons for pointing out my slight dyslexia and i can assure you my photos are stunning don't you worry.
Gene Simmons
Saturday, February 4, 2012 at 10:46 PM@onetotheeast Hope your photos are better than your spelling.
onetotheeast
Saturday, February 4, 2012 at 06:48 PMtotaly agree with Mark Dragilocevic on this after reading past drivel posted by this columist, why not get someone that lives in the real world to do a columb in the ET that can relate to some of the real world..crist i would love to do one as a bi-weekly status telling how starting a business up on a few quid doing phots and having to hold up a postoffice que when im posting out 30 or 40 photo packs to customers, using local companies and trade to get along..and this is in not an a huge town but a small one on the outer edge of northans. as put by some 'its just a gripe' to others......its just a way of living and getting buy now a days.
Mark Dragilocevic
Saturday, February 4, 2012 at 03:40 PMIt's no wonder the ET's circulation is in terminal decline when it pays people to write this drivel.
ruby123
Saturday, February 4, 2012 at 03:07 PMAnd what about all Mrs Ebay seller? Loads of packages all being weighed and stamped.? My biggest queue hate is the one in a German shop, long conveyor belts. The person in front of you has about 4 items and then suddenly their other half arrives with an extra 20 odd items.
KEVJS
Saturday, February 4, 2012 at 01:09 PMonetotheeast. It's just a gripe that a lot of people endure now and again. Not every one can leave a bit earlier. Work time dictates when we can use the post office.
onetotheeast
Friday, February 3, 2012 at 08:03 PMMy god, are you the same lot that moan when a post office closes?? you must be so gutted when you go into tescos and que up at the 10 items or less counter and someone has 11 items due to bogof offers. villages have to fight to keep a PO and to many its a meeting point. if your in a hurry..and i say the same to all them stupid drivers that sit on your bumper....go a bit early and miss the rush. next you will be saying when there is no one to moan about in a que that its now boring. such a waste of a colum space over something so snobish.
windmill
Friday, February 3, 2012 at 10:32 AMHow I agree with Michelle and Dave Turner! I hate Post Offices. There are two more that I'd like to add. The person who insists on standing close behind you and coughs down your neck and worst of all, and there's always one, he who deems it necessary to fart!. That's what they do in Post offices.
The Larkins
Friday, February 3, 2012 at 09:05 AMDMT48 = Michelles comments are her own opinion, but I bet are also the opinions of many of her readers, of which I am one. Hers is a great column to read each week, always something to relate to as she's says it as she see's it, along with a little humour thrown in. I bet at one point in your life you've stood in a queue and had similar thoughts to her! I know I do!!
DMT48
Friday, February 3, 2012 at 04:08 AMWhat a petty, horrible country this is, obsessed with sniping at one another. I used to feel a bit guilty standing in the Post Office queue with lots of mail order packages to send, but I won't now. Nyargh.
KEVJS
Friday, February 3, 2012 at 01:36 AMI spent 30 mins in a post office queue, only to be served by someone who thinks the customers shouldn't be there.
John Downes
Friday, February 3, 2012 at 12:43 AMThe one person in post office queues I can't stand is the snob, who thinks she has more right to be there than other people.
DaveTurner
Friday, February 3, 2012 at 12:00 AMYou forgot the "IT TAKES A VILLAGE" where more than one member of the family is required to mail a package or purchase a single item like a father and daughter, both adults and both capable of doing the task on their own but they persist in filling up the line. Gets worse when it is a whole family tree doing it, you are 30 foot back in the line and suddenly you are at the front of the line as the whole line of customers magically disappears after they purchase a bag of sugar.
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